The Spirit Controlled Family

Sunday February 19, 2017   Phone: 570.829.5216
Pastor David Miklas e-mail
Message: The Spirit Controlled Family – Text: Ep 5:18-33

The Spirit Controlled Family


I don't know about you, but I'm really concerned about the state of today's marriages. Each year several million hopeful couples pledge themselves in holy wedlock, vowing to love each other for better or worse. But about half of them end up in divorce! Even the marriages that do hang together, today, are not characterized by the fictitious refrain, "And they lived happily ever after."


The KEY to a successful marriage and

the KEY to a successful Christian home and

the KEY to a fulfilled Christian life


is found in an area that is SO BASIC, SO PROFOUND, SO SIMPLE, we not only misunderstand it, but our neglect of it has rendered much of our spiritual lives and ministries and even Christian marriages and families POWERLESS. This basic truth is found in Ephesians 5:18 where we read, “And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit…” Now the word filled means to be controlled.


The comparison here is that of a drunken man being controlled by wine to a man being controlled by the Holy Spirit. Just as a man will yield to wine that will control him, so the believer as he yields to the Holy Spirit, that 3rd person of the triune God, will likewise control him. The verb, "be filled," implies a repetitive action, which means "continue being filled" or "be filled and be filled and be filled." The filling or the control of the Holy Spirit is a continuous action upon our yielding daily, and moment by moment, to the Holy Guest that lives inside everyone who has accepted Jesus as Savior.


Now the passage before us in Ephesians 5:19-6:4, is geared to family living. The KEY to family living is rooted in the "Spirit Controlled Family." The passage shows us the results of an individual or family that is controlled by the Holy Spirit of God in us.


A Spirit controlled person will be singing, singing Christian songs, singing praises unto our God. Verse 19,Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;


A Spirit controlled person will be a thankful person, rejoicing in all things working together for the Glory of God. Verse 20, “Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ…”


A Spirit controlled person will submit to those over him. Verse 2, Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.


A Spirit controlled WIFE will willingly come under the protection and provision of the husband. Verses 22-24, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (23) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. (24) Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”


A Spirit controlled HUSBAND will love his wife as Christ loved the church. Verse 25-33, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (26) That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, (27) That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. (28) So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. (29) For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: (30) For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. (31) For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (32) This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. (33) Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”


A Spirit controlled CHILD will obey and Honor their parents. Verse 6:1-3, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. (2) Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) (3) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”


A Spirit controlled FATHER will train up his children and discipline them in the Lord. Verse 6:4, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”


When a "Christian Family" is controlled by the Holy Spirit of God:


It will be easy for a wife to SUBMIT to her husband.

It will be easy for a Husband to LOVE his wife.

It will be easy for CHILDREN to OBEY their parents.


Can you imagine a family that lives like that being miserable? IMPOSSIBLE!! That's why I say, this is the KEY to a successful marriage and Christian family.


Now let me pause here and teach you a very basic truth from the Old Testament to show where all this begins. The truth I am speaking of is the "Anointing of the Holy Spirit." Then I will show you how these two truths of anointing and controlling come together.


We have a tendency in our day to either embrace the Holy Spirit or reject the Holy Spirit. Yet this same Holy Spirit lives within each and every one of us who has put our faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. He is there as our Divine teacher, as our comforter, as our guide, as our prayer partner and many other areas. He is the “Divine Holy Guest living in us.”


In the Old Testament the anointing of a person was for the purpose of empowering and equipping them for a Holy Task.


First: There was the anointing of the PRIEST, AARON: In Leviticus 8:10-12 we read, “And Moses took the anointing oil, and anointed the tabernacle and all that was therein, and sanctified them. (11) And he sprinkled thereof upon the altar seven times, and anointed the altar and all his vessels, both the laver and his foot, to sanctify them. (12) And he poured of the anointing oil upon Aaron's head, and anointed him, to sanctify him.” Notice the words ANOINTED and SANCTIFIED are used together. The word “sanctify” means, "to set apart." Sanctification is not sinless perfection; it means to be set apart for a purpose.


For example, this pulpit is sanctified. It has been set apart for the specific purpose of preaching and teaching the word of God. Now it is not a perfect pulpit, but none-the-less it is a sanctified pulpit.


Who was sanctified? AARON. Who was Aaron? He was the HIGH PRIEST. In other words, the High Priest was anointed that he might be sanctified which means to be set apart. How many times was AARON anointed, ONE TIME.



Second: There was the anointing of the KING, DAVID: In I Samuel 16:13 we read, “Then Samuel took the horn of oil, and anointed him in the midst of his brethren: and the Spirit of the LORD came upon David from that day forward…” Here is the anointing for the purpose of sanctification. And sanctification is for the purpose of someone or something to be set apart for a special purpose. David was anointed to become A KING. How many times was David anointed? Well, he was anointed THREE times, but each time for a different purpose or as he assumed a new task.


First: in I Samuel 16:13 God sets David apart to become King.

Second: in II Samuel 2:4 he became King over part of Judah.

Third: in II Samuel 5:3 he became King over all of Israel.


David was anointed THREE times, but only one time for each task.


Third: There was the anointing of the PROPHET, ELISHA: In I Kings 19:16 we read, “And Jehu the son of Nimshi shalt thou anoint to be king over Israel: and Elisha the son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah shalt thou anoint to be prophet in thy room.” Again notice Elisha was anointed one time for the purpose of being set apart to be a prophet. How many times was Elisha anointed, ONE TIME.


Now after observation of these verses, there are 3 statements I would like to make.


Number 1: Each anointing was done upon accepting a new responsibility.


When Aaron was anointed in Lev. 8:12 as High Priest, he was accepting a new responsibility.

When David was first anointed in I Samuel 16:13 as King, he was accepting a new responsibility.

When Elisha was anointed in I Kings 19:16 as Prophet, he was accepting a new responsibility.


Any new task or responsibility for which you as a child of God are chosen or for which you accept, is so important that the Holy Spirit should anoint you. We read in I John 2:27 "But the anointing which you received of him abideth in you…" Who was John speaking of? He was speaking of the Holy Spirit.


Number 2: Each anointing was to equip one for a task. In each of the THREE cases of Aaron the High Priest, Elisha the Prophet and David the King, the anointing was done to equip them for a new task. Remember this, “When God calls, He qualifies, He equips and He prepares.”


When a Christian is called to a new responsibility, he needs to be equipped. Hence, he needs to be anointed by the Holy Spirit as God appropriates to him what he needs to fulfill his calling and equips him for that calling.


Number 3: Each anointing was God giving His mind to the individual for fulfilling that new task. What is this anointing?


It is when God chooses Human Flesh for a task, and God anoints that human flesh and equips that human flesh with a spiritual mind so he can understand and comprehend the job or responsibility from a spiritual standpoint, rather than a secular or human point of view.


Remember the Bible tells us seven times in Revelation 2-3, "He that hath eyes to see, he that hath ears to hear, let him hear what the Spirit says."


In other words, I need to see things and do things through the eyes, mind and actions of God and not through my human eyes.


Now let's review what we have heard thus far:


There was an anointing for Aaron the PRIEST.

There was an anointing for David the KING.

There was an anointing for Elisha the PROPHET.

Anointing was done upon accepting a new TASK.

Anointing was done for the equipping for this new TASK.

Anointing was God giving His mind to them for the new TASK.


Now you have been patiently listening to this and perhaps you are saying:


What has this to do with me in the 21st century with all my needs and problems and pressures?

What has this to do with my marriage and with my family?

What has this to do with the ministry of this church and my involvement in it?


WHY IS THIS SO IMPORTANT? Because I believe that many of God's dear people who are serving the Lord in the areas of the church teaching ministry, the children’s and youth ministry, the music ministry, working on a committee, Deacons, and Trustees, have never been anointed for the job, task or responsibility they are doing. Many have never submitted themselves for God to open their spiritual perception of how to carry out the ministry or deal with the spiritual nature of the work of God.


Very often God's people FAIL or do GOOD things, but do those GOOD THINGS in the energy of the HUMAN FLESH, and wonder why there are no results.


Very often in our church, programs and meetings continue to operate without the Holy Spirit being present, and we wonder why there are no results.


Very often as believers we live frustrated lives and wonder why there is no joy in worshiping and in servicing the Lord.


WHY IS THIS SO IMPORTANT? Because many a wife,  husband, parent, or  grandparent is trying in the energy of human flesh to be something they cannot be, because they have taken on the task, job, or responsibility in the family, but they don't have God’s mind, wisdom, or discernment for that task.


Now if all this is Bible truth, and it is…then this means:


EACH new baby God blesses your home with, requires you as parents to have a private anointing service as you accept this unique task. One of the most amazing things to me is our five children.


Jonathan our preacher son was first. We loved him for a year and a half.

Then came Grace. Something happened when Grace came. I said, “Lord how can I love her as I do Jonathan?”

Then came Joel, and I said the same thing.

Then came Ruth, and I said the same thing.

Finally came Rebecca, and again I said the same thing.


Each time there needed to be another anointing service.


EACH new grandchild that comes into your family making you a grandparent requires this anointing. I have done this with


Alicia and Daniel, with Matthew, Autumn Rose, and Luke, with Angela, Emily, Jennifer, Kimberly, Billy, Deborah, and Jimmy, with Nathaniel, Bethany, Andrew, Isaac, Chloe, and Samuel, with Michael, Stephen, and Joshua.


Each time I asked the Holy Spirit of God to anoint me for the task of being a grandparent to them.


EVERY time you accept a new position at work, even though it may be a secular job, you ought to have the anointing of God. Say something like this: "Oh, Spirit of the living God, I need you to anoint me for this task, I yield this mind, body and soul to you. I need your wisdom, I need your mind, I need your understanding to carry out this responsibility so as to bring GLORY UNTO YOU."


Anointing is a time of being set apart; it is a private ordination for each and every new task, job, or responsibility you are given. Remember:


The anointing is for the new task.

The filling comes while you work at the task.

The filling is the mighty power of God’s Holy Spirit that controls us when we yield to him begging for power.


EVERY time you volunteer to work on a team or to work in a ministry you need to get alone and have an anointing service, a private ordination service. This is where you ask God to equip you and open your eyes and mind to understand things from a spiritual point of view. Oh, what would happen in our church ministries;


if we had anointed folks in our church music,

if we had anointed Deacons and Trustees,

if we had anointed Sunday School teachers, youth workers, and children’s ministry workers,

if we had anointed Nursery workers, ushers, and

if all those who serve in any ministry were anointed?


“No program, no Sunday school, no official board, no pulpit, no ministry is any good unless it is empowered by the Holy Spirit. All our activities or inactivity is nothing but sounding brass and twinkling symbols unless it has the Holy breath of God’s Spirit upon it."


Today, I have brought with me a special GLASS: This glass was given to me some 40 years ago. I had the privilege of leading to the Lord the man who gave me this glass. He bought the glass and had PASTOR DAVE inscribed on it. For many years this glass remained in my pulpit.


Here is the lesson. This glass was sanctified; it was set apart for a special purpose – my drinking water at the pulpit. But this glass that was sanctified had to be re-filled all the time. And that is just like you and me.


In Ephesians 5:18 the filling or the control of the Holy Spirit is a continuous action upon our yielding, whereas the doctrine of the anointing is an one-time anointing for each job or responsibility.


Listen, I am concerned about you getting the Bible and understanding its truths, but more than that, I am concerned your life is changed by the indwelling Holy Spirit. I am more concerned about your changed lives than you just occupying a pew on Sunday.


When you take on a new task or new responsibility, you need to have an anointing from the Lord. Then every time you serve in that task day-after-day or week-after-week, you need to say, "God, I need to be Spirit-filled, Spirit-Controlled."


For those of you who serve and labor and hold positions, I challenge you to get alone for a private ordination service with the Lord. Ask God to set you apart and to give you the spiritual mind as you serve Him for His glory.


Carrying on God's work is not like carrying on business in the secular world. There is something HOLY and SACRED and HIGHER that takes the anointing of God and the constant power of God to do.


Listen never get to the place where you think you have arrived in the Christian life. If you do, that is the day you begin to backslide. O' yes you need the anointing of the Holy Spirit on each and every new task, but you also need day after day to be yielded to the constant control of the Holy Spirit.


Have you a new responsibility? Begin this responsibility by finding a quiet place and having a little private ordination service between you and God. Ask God to lay His hands upon you and to anoint you for the task ahead.


Tell Him that the task is bigger than you and the responsibility is too great for the flesh.

Ask Him to anoint you, to sanctify you, to equip you, to inaugurate you for the job ahead.

Ask Him for His mind as you serve.

Ask Him to appropriate to you what you need.


Then, day-after-day beg for His power, plead for His fullness and walk in the Spirit.


Perhaps no human hands will place olive oil on your brow, but at such a time of surrender, the hand of God could take His Holy Spirit and equip you for a task for which by nature you are not equipped.


Perhaps today I am talking with FRUSTRATED WIVES, who have never since marriage even if it has been years ago asked God to anoint you for the task and day after day ask the blessed Holy Spirit of God to control you as a wife.


Perhaps today I am talking with EXASPERATED HUSBANDS, who also since marriage have never asked God to anoint you for the task and day-after-day ask the blessed Holy Spirit of God to control you as a husband.


Perhaps today I am talking with FEARFUL PARENTS who are at their wit’s end with their children. You have tried everything except asking God to anoint you for the task and then day-after-day submitting to the control of the Holy Spirit and demonstrating the fruits of the Spirit before them.


Perhaps I am talking with HOPEFUL GRANDPARENTS who need to ask God for an anointing on each and every grandchild.


Perhaps today I am talking with ENTHUSIASTIC MEMBERS of our various ministries here or even our Deacons who would benefit from going before God to, as David put it in Psalm 92:10, "…be anointed with fresh oil."





All the counseling in the world,

All the books on the KEYS to marriage and family,

All the seminars and messages on the KEYS to living a fruitful blessed Christian life and service for Jesus,


can't do what this simple yet profound truth will do, if you apply it to your life. It all begins with an anointing of the Holy Spirit and daily continues with the controlling of the Holy Spirit.


Get on your face before God and say, "God I am not asking for all that I can have in the future at one time, but I am asking that you give me an anointing for the task of ________________. I need your eyes, your mind, your will and your purpose to be done in my life at this task. I pray you will anoint me and set me apart for it in Jesus’ name."


O’ may you say as David said in Psalm 92:10 "…I shall be anointed with fresh oil."



If God has spoken to your heart after reading the sermon “The Spirit Controlled Family” right now talk to God about what He has spoken to you.


Do you have the assurance that one day you will go to heaven? If you have no assurance that you know Jesus Christ, then I trust you will decide to accept Him as your personal Savior. The Bible tells us in


Acts 16:31, “…Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…”

Romans 10:13, “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”


This prayer is here for those who need to ask Jesus to be their personal Savior: “I do want to go to Heaven. I know I am a sinner, and I do believe Jesus Christ died for me. I realize I cannot buy this great salvation, nor can I earn it. Knowing Jesus died on the cross and arose from the grave to pay my sin debt and to purchase my salvation, I do now trust Him as my Savior, and from this moment on I am completely depending on Him for my salvation.”

If you made the decision to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, please let me know. Please send an e-mail to and I will send you some literature that will help you in your Christian life.

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In His Amazing Grace,

Pastor<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
David Miklas
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