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Why Do we Have Conflicts?
Introduction: Let’s face it; we live in a world full of CONFLICTS. There are conflicts between individuals, conflicts in families, and conflicts that split church congregations over pettiness between individuals, not sound doctrine. There are conflicts on the job and in politics. So, why do we have them?
This question brings us back to our study of the New Testament book of James, where we are reminded that he is dealing with REAL PROBLEMS in the REAL WORLD that you and I face every day. In his usual style, James uses strong words at the beginning of chapter 4 as he deals with tensions arising within the church.
Satan desires to create TENSIONS and DISHARMONY in every relationship we have, including our family, our friends, and within our church. In James 4 we are warned about some major causes of disharmony – SELFISHNESS, ENVY, JEALOUSY, WORLDLINESS, and SLANDER.
These poor qualities in the Christian life are like sand in a watch, they damage it from the inside. It takes a HUMBLE, HONEST Christian to recognize such faults in his or her life and deal with them.
The break between chapters 3 and 4 is an unfortunate one, since James neither changes the subject nor shifts his emphasis. His comments regarding the destructive nature of the tongue which started in chapter 3, builds to a crescendo in chapter 4. In order to understand the context we need to go back to James 3:14-18 and see again the contrast between heavenly wisdom and earthly wisdom.
“But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. (15) This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. (16) For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. (17) But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. (18) And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.”
Now in James 4:1-3 we read,
“From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? (2) Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. (3) Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.”
Someone entitled these verses, "When Worship turns to War." Another entitled it "Extending the Right FIST of Fellowship."
In James 4:1 we read “From whence come wars and fightings among you?" Like a parent stepping into the middle of a sibling squabble, James asks his readers, “What started all this?” Why do we, as Paul said in Galatians 5:15, "bite and devour one another?” Because we are full of SELF! Just look throughout the pages of the Word of God:
Lot caused a quarrel with His Uncle Abraham, Genesis 13
Absolom created war with his father David, II Samuel 13-18
The disciples argued among themselves, Luke 9:46
Members of the Corinthian church in I Corinthians 1:10-11 were competing with one another over spiritual gifts, quarreling with one another, and even going to court with others.
The members of the Galatian church were biting and devouring one another, Galatians 5:15
In Philippi, two women were just not getting along, Philippians 4:1
Even James seems to be addressing a church full of SELF and STRIFE. He talks about:
Class wars, James 2:1-9, where the rich were being honored and the poor were being ignored
Employment wars, James 5:1-6 the rich had power, while the poor got no wages
Church fights over selfish ambitions in James 1:19-20 and James 3:13-18
Church tongues were slandering one another, James 4:11, 5:9
From where do theseQUARRELS and CONFLICTS come? It's important for us to discover the answer to this because today there is AS MUCH CONFLICT WITHIN THE CHURCH AS THERE IS OUTSIDE IT. That’s why Christianity limps along as a godless world looks in and sees NOTHING different than what they see outside.
Someone made this profound statement, "There has never been a church in any age or in any place free from DISCORD or immune to the DANGER of RIVILRY and STRIFE."
Someone else said, "Whenever a church is advancing in fulfillment of its obligation to proclaim Christ, you may be sure Satan will be at work. Satan never disturbs a sleeping church. The members of such an assembly are no problem to him. But when God's people are wide awake and busy for the Lord, Satan and his emissaries will be there to impede the progress." How true that is!
Another said, “Satan's strategy throughout church history has been to destroy UNITY within the visible church. This makes a lot of sense from Satan's point of view. If he can destroy UNITY, he has destroyed the most powerful means of communication to LOST MEN and WOMEN that Jesus Christ is GOD. When that message is OBLITERATED or even BLURRED man is doomed to eternal despair. Man cannot come to know God apart from coming to know Jesus Christ, who is God the Son.”
When Christ was on earth, He worked miracles to convince men He was God. When He went back to heaven, He left His church to communicate that truth. The ingredient in the church that convinces NON-BELIEVERS that Jesus is God is UNITY - being of the SAME MIND WITH ONE ANOTHER. This is a miracle in itself, because:
Everywhere men tend toward DISHARMONY;
History flows with a lack of HARMONY, and
SQUABBLES are the norm, and SQUABBLES turn people off.
Do you think the GOSPEL turns people ON when they see Christians fighting and bickering and refuse to get along? In John 13:34-35 Jesus said to His disciples in the upper room "A new commandment I give unto you that you love one another as I have loved you… by this shall all men know that you are my disciples, If you have love one to another."
God is not the author of such a discordant spirit. James tells us that such a spirit comes from THREE WRONGS.
First: We have WRONG MOTIVES verse 1: “From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?” Fighting and quarreling among you comes from "WITHIN YOU"
The origin of a family squabble can be traced to SELFISH LUSTS that are within you."
The origin of church disharmony can be traced to SELFISH LUSTS that comes from within you.
I believe that James is suggesting that the cause of the trouble is:
The SELF-CENTERED “I,” I DESIRE, I WANT MY WAY. I want my marbles. I want to do it my way. It’s my way or no way. If I cannot have it my way; I will either pick a fight to get it, or pick up my marbles to go somewhere else.
Someone said, “A person not at peace with himself can surely not be at peace with those around him.” Psalms 133:1 tells us, "Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity."
You will notice in James 4 the word “Lust” is used in all three verses. In verse 1 the Greek word is pronounced "Hedonism" meaning an "unbridled search for pleasure."
It is the philosophy of seeking "what pleases me."
It is a word for sensual pleasure of the FLESH.
My friends, we have too much FLESH in our Christian lives; we have too much FLESH in the church. For example:
If you say, I will only come to church if I get pleasure from worship.
If you say, I will only come to church when it suits me.
If you say, I will only serve for my pleasure or do things that I like to do.
You continually ask the modern day question, “WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?” So we go to church and there are personality conflicts; this personality can't get along with that personality. We go church and there are those who must have all the attention like DIOTREPHES, who loved to have the preeminence as we read in III John verse 9. His problem was his lust for position, his desire for authority; and he was causing "war" in the church.
In a church of any size, a natural tendency is for one group to think their ministry is of higher priority than the ministry of another group. Because you are serving in that ministry, you may not even notice or care if other ministries are struggling. Allow me to remind you that the Bible admonishes us to "In honor preferring one another."
The church is not intended to be a band of little groups loyal only to that group. Our loyalty ought to be to the Lord Jesus and to the entire church.
Each and every individual and family is important.
Each and every ministry is important.
All of us needs to do our part for the GLORY OF GOD, for anything less than our best is SIN.
Such a spirit of fighting comes to us because we seek to please ourselves. And why does such a spirit create dissension? Because we can only please ourselves AT THE EXPENSE OF ANOTHER.
I found this quote in an old message I preached years ago on this same passage, but I have no idea where it came from. Nevertheless it is as true today as it was when written.
"Pleasure-seeking destroys our love for spiritual things. We may still keep on doing them, but we do them out of duty and not love. I John 4:7 tells us "Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God, and everyone that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God." When we love Jesus, the most joyful thing in the world is to serve Him and obey Him. But when the goal of our lives is obtaining selfish pleasures, our obedience becomes simply a disagreeable duty.
Some of us go to church out of a sense of obligation. We have become so preoccupied with becoming "spiritual" that we have forgotten the real mark of spirituality is to LOVE JESUS. If we LOVE JESUS with all our being, we will be spiritual Christians. If we have conflicts and problems, we have no one else to blame but ourselves. IT IS OUR SPIRIT, OUR ATTITUDE."
Thus we discover in verse 1 that we have wrong motives which lead us.
Second: We have WRONG ACTIONS verse 2: “Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.” Here theword “lust” means "to set your heart on something." It’s the word for COVETOUSNESS, the brooding over something you want but can't have.
In Hebrews 13:5, we read, "let your manner of life be without covetousness and be content with such things as you have…"
In Luke 12:15 Jesus said, "…take heed and beware of covetousness, for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth."
The 10th commandment in Exodus 20:17 tell us, "Thou shalt not covet."
This verse is full of SELFISHNESS on the inside. Instead of being thankful for the blessings we have, we complain about the blessings we would like to have. Consequently we develop a JEALOUS and ENVIOUS spirit.
So James says ye kill. The word, "kill" refers to "character and reputation assassination." We don't have it and we want it, so we kill the other person’s reputation, good name and character to get it. Someone said, "Jealousy realizes the good in others, but only desires to speak of the evil in them. James is saying, you can never claim a high position for yourself by pushing others down." You can never enjoy your life by killing someone else’s reputation, good name, or their character. Yet, this is being done all the time in our personal lives, in the church family, and in society. We tear this person down, this family member down, this ministry or that ministry down, in order for us to look good. How destructive to the name and cause of Christ.
From wrong motives in verse 1, to wrong actions in verse 2, we move on to:
Third: We have WRONG PRAYING, verse 3: “Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.” I guess the natural question we need to ask is “what is the motive of your praying?”
Do you PRAY and ASK for your WANTS or NEEDS instead of the DESIRE for HIS GLORY.
In his usual blunt way, James says, "STOP ASKING FOR SELFISH THINGS." Often we call upon God as if He were a magic genie, someone who will grant our every wish and our every desire. THANK GOD HE DOES NOT GRANT OUR EVERY WANT or OUR EVERY WISH or OUR EVERY DESIRE!
Someone has said, "Sometimes the only thing worse than not getting what you want is getting it." Let me repeat that, "Sometimes the only thing worse than not getting what you want is getting it."
The Children of Israel in Numbers 11 complained about not having some meat to eat. They wanted flesh to eat. Yes, as usual they were weeping over something they wanted. Now listen carefully, God finally gave them what they wanted but they LOST WHAT THEY HAD. They received meat, but many of them lost their lives. As a result, they named the place where God sent them the meat "the graves of Lust."
The Promised Land was in Israel’s sight, at a place called Kadesh-Barnea. God wanted them to have it. But they did not want to face the giants in the land so they complained in Numbers 14:2, "Would God that we had died in the land of Egypt!" or would God we had died in this wilderness." Guess what? They got wanted they wanted. The people of Israel did not have to face the giants, but AGAIN THEY LOST WHAT THEY HAD which was many lives because they naturally died over the 40 years of wandering in the wilderness. They got what they wanted, but lost what they had ALL BECAUSE OF PRAYING FOR SELFISH REASONS.
This is a warning to be careful. Do you pray for your own pleasure, or do you pray to get God's will and work done for His Glory?
Let's draw this message to a close by going to three verses of scripture.
Number 1: Notice the last part of Philippians 1:27 "That ye stand fast in ONE spirit, with ONE mind, STRIVING TOGETHER for the faith of the Gospel." The word STRIVE means to AGONIZE. Here we are to AGONIZE TOGETHER, to put all our efforts toward the cause, the distribution of the gospel to all the world.
Our commission as a church is to reach people both in our immediate world as well as in the regions beyond. We have seen that the world will not believe our message unless we are worshipping in UNITY andHARMONY.
Number 2: In Philippians 2:3 we read “Fulfill ye my joy, that ye be like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.” The words "one accord" means "joint souls". We ought to be ever singing, "Blest be the ties that bind our hearts in Christian Love."
Here are several safe guards to keep that all-important unity in the church:
1. Stay in love with Jesus by daily expressing to Him your love.
2. Don't be easily offended and walk around with a wounded Spirit.
3. Stay in love with the Word of God.
4. Realize the needs of OTHERS; always be conscious of others.
5. Realize that each of us is a child of God, therefore we ought to be the best of friends in Christ.
6. Remember,
We are all fighting the same enemies – the DEVIL, the WORLD and the FLESH.
We all have the same commission to win souls to Jesus.
We are all on our way to heaven, if by faith we have trusted Christ as our Savior.
We are all indwelt with the same Holy Spirit.
If you are saved, you are part of the family of God within a church. As such, I am just like you and you are just like me. We are trying to do our best for the Master. We must accept that each of us will fall in failure and fall short of the name we bear – Christian. For the Bible says, "All have sinned and come short of the Glory of God. There is none righteous, no not one…"
We have got to realize that one of these days everybody in our church is going to disappoint us.
We have got to realize that within our church family we are brothers and sisters in Christ.
Therefore let us all share in our defeats as well as in our victories, and share in our mistakes as well as in our blessings.
Number 3: In Ephesians 4:3 we read, "Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of PEACE." Here is the by-product of Godly wisdom and Godly living which is the very opposite of strife and quarrels. Unity is not automatic:
It takes effort to get along with people.
It takes effort to daily apply the principles of scripture.
It takes effort to have the mind of Jesus Christ.
It takes effort to accept each other and to lift up the weak or fallen.
It takes effort to be patient and loving.
It takes effort to be forgiving.
I trust to you, that this has been a message of prevention in the context of our study of James. Nothing without will destroy the ministry of our church. It will only be destroyed if we let it by WRONG MOTIVES, WRONG ACTIONS, and WRONG PRAYING from within.
My friend, is there a conflict within you today? Are you troubled by warring and strife? In I John 5:14 we read, "this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He heareth us."
Jesus knows your burdens and conflicts, and He wants to give you victory over them and lasting peace.
Although the whole world may be in turmoil, the child of God can rest in the arms of the Prince of Peace.
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If God has spoken to your heart after reading the sermon “Why Do We Have Conflicts?” then right now talk to God about what He has spoken to you.
Do you have the assurance that one day you will go to heaven? If you have no assurance that you know Jesus Christ, then I trust you will decide to accept Him as your personal Savior. The Bible tells us in
Acts 16:31, “…Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…”
Romans 10:13, “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
This prayer is here for those who need to ask Jesus to be their personal Savior: “I do want to go to Heaven. I know I am a sinner, and I do believe Jesus Christ died for me. I realize I cannot buy this great salvation, nor can I earn it. Knowing Jesus died on the cross and arose from the grave to pay my sin debt and to purchase my salvation, I do now trust Him as my Savior, and from this moment on I am completely depending on Him for my salvation.”
If you made the decision to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior let me know? Please send an e-mail to, pdmikBBM@aol.com and I will send you some literature that will help you in your Christian life.
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In His Amazing Grace,
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