Mothers Teaching the Next Generation of Daughters
INTRODUCTION: Raising a child in the “admonition of the Lord” is the greatest ministry a mom or dad will ever experience.
Children are a blessing! God entrusted their care to parents for the following reasons: to protect, to provide for, to love, to nurture, to raise them in a Christian home, to teach them God's Word and to encourage them to accept Christ as their personal Savior.
Help your children to avoid the messages of this world, which often encourages rebellion to God, rejection of the Bible as absolute truth, and even the mocking of Jesus Christ.
Take seriously the responsibility God gave you in the raising of your children and the nurturing of their minds.
This message is meant as a wake-up call to parents. Sadly, with the better percentage of two full generations who don't go to church and are not Christians, most children are growing up today in homes void of God.
This being Mother’s Day I commend unto you moms Proverbs 14:1 which reads, “Every wise woman buildeth her house…” Now with that in mind, I believe God would have us focus our attention on Titus 2:1-5 where we read,
“But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: (2) That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. (3) The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; (4) That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, (5) To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
Titus is being encouraged to energize the “aged women” in his congregation to spend time teaching the “younger women” important character traits. It is God's plan for youth to learn from the aged and experienced.
One of the downfalls in our society is that younger women have developed a fierce dedication and foolish loyalty to their peers.
A friend's opinion usually trumps a parent's opinion. What girlfriends think or what the secular, ungodly TV, and modern magazines tell often carries more weight than what their elders recommend.
Because of this, unwise decisions have become the norm. No matter how flippant a young girl’s attitude may have become, they would be wise to remember that poor decisions result in real life, long-ranging consequences. Yes, you may choose what you do, but you do not get to choose the consequences of what you do — they are built-in.
Wise is the “young woman” who engages regularly with older, wiser women. In Proverbs 20:5 we read, “Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out.” Likewise:
Beware of the one who is quick to give advice. Wise counsel is like deep water. It exists in the hearts of godly and aged women and if you want to access it, you will have to draw it out. Learn to treasure the wisdom won by spiritual and practiced experience. Never make a major decision in your life without seeking godly counsel.
Now from our text in Titus 2:4-5 let me share EIGHT DISCIPLINES the Bible says AGED WOMEN (moms) would do well to TEACH the next generation of YOUNG WOMEN (daughters).
NUMBER 1 – MENTAL DISCIPLINE: Notice in verse 4, “That they may teach the younger women to be SOBER…” The word “sober” refers to “mental discipline.” This verse is challenging women to develop self-controlled, disciplined thinking. Now let me explain.
God has made each of us as a triune being – body, soul, spirit. Your soul is also a triune being which consists of your mind, your heart (emotions) and your will. Your mind is the key. If your thinking is right, your emotions will be right, and your will easily chooses right. Get these three things right, and your soul is right!
That is why the Bible has instructed the “aged women” to teach the “younger women” to be “sober-minded,” self-disciplined in their thinking. You do this by;
FIRST: Replacing daydreaming with diligent thoughts. In Proverbs 21:5 we read, “The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenteousness:” A diligent young lady takes careful oversight of her thoughts.
SECOND: Replacing wrong thinking with Bible meditation. In Psalm 1:2 we read, “But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and in his law doth he meditate day and night.”
THIRD: Replacing worldly thinking with Christ’s thoughts. In Philippians 2:5 we read, “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:” The more you study Christ, the more you will acquire His mind of “humility and service” and be fixed on doing His will.
Being “sober-minded” requires focusing your mind on things that really matter!
NUMBER 2 – DISCIPLINE OF THE HEART: The next discipline found in verse 4 is for the “aged women” to show the “younger women” how “to love their husbands.”
Now before I explain the word for love in this passage, let me say that the love of a husband for his wife is expressed by a different word for love. In Ephesians 5:25 we read, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it…” This word for love is the same used in John 3:16. It is a love of the will to sacrificially give.
As long as a man is in a marriage looking for what he can get out of it, he will never know what it is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. The whole heart of the matter is DYING to SELF. “If he is going to LOVE his wife like God commands, He needs to BE WILLING TO DIE FOR HER.”
Now the word “love” in Titus 2:4 is the Greek word “philanderor” which means “fondness” or “affection.” A godly woman loves her husband and expresses it through true-hearted affection.
Listen carefully, “Ninety-five percent of heart affection is the result of mental discipline.” Here are several practical principles to teach the “younger women” to relate to their future husbands:
One: Accept the fact that the husband’s priority is his work, not his wife. Remember in I Corinthians 11:9 we read, “Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.”
Second: Remember that the most powerful weapon to destroy a marriage is nagging and complaining.
Third: Be a mother to the little boy within him, but an encourager to the professional man he is supposed to be.
Fourth: Thank the Lord for him, and remember praise OF him and TO him will go a long way to encourage his affection.
Fifth: A wise wife lavishes upon her husband the physical attention that he needs. She does not withhold romance. In this way she safeguards her marriage from evil influences. This means that the aged-women need to impress upon the younger women to remain physically, mentally and emotionally pure during their growing-up and courting years. However, once married, she is to lavish upon her husband unrestrained love.
Your thoughts determine your feelings, and your feelings determine your actions. You do what you feel, and you feel because of what you think. Ladies who cannot get a grip on their thinking cannot consistently love their husbands.
NUMBER 3 – DISCIPLINE OF PARENTING: The last part of Titus 2:4 says, "to love their children." The Bible encourages “young mothers” to activate their God-given maternal affection.
In a Biblically-structured home, the mother has the chief responsibility to carry out the day-to-day rearing of the children. It may seem strange that God would instruct aged-women to teach young women to love their children, but in this day of "unnatural affection," many young mothers have come to view children as inconvenient and self-restrictive.
Bitterness, impatience, and hostility can creep into the heart of a young mother, corrupting the pure maternal love that should flow unhindered from her heart to theirs.
As a girl becomes a young lady, she should be directed to opportunities to work with children. Femininity possesses a grace when interacting with children.
Now here is a word to “middle-aged women.”
If you don't learn to channel your affection properly toward loving your husband, you will channel it improperly toward loving your children, and you will put them before your husband.
One of the vulnerable areas of older ladies is their desire to mother. One reason an older woman tends to be that way is because she didn't realize early enough that her children were someday going to leave home and belong to somebody else. If you don't learn how to love your husband properly, you'll find yourself feeling empty when your children leave the house. If you are not careful, you will take that role of mother right over to your husband and you will treat him like a little child.
You need to learn that the husband and wife relationship is a permanent and eternal relationship. The average married couple will have 40 years alone together after their children have left the house. The majority of couples' lives will be spent with just the two of them.
God did not put a parent and a child in the Garden of Eden; He put a husband and a wife in the Garden of Eden. That is the primary relationship on earth, and it has to be the focus of wives. Every other relationship should come as an out-growth of the marriage.
The greatest deed a wife will ever perform for her children is to love their father. The greatest deed a husband will ever accomplish for his children is to love their mother.
NUMBER 4 – DISCIPLINE OF RESPONSIBILITY: In verse 5 we read, "To be discreet…" The word discreet means “self-protection through self-control.”
Older women need to teach the young women to guard their heart! Proverbs 4:23 reads, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”
“Younger women” must realize that there are those who would take advantage and those who would defraud by preying upon their emotions. Enticers are master manipulators who almost always use the same points to stir up their passions, then plunder their purity!
Be Discreet with Flattery: Proverbs 29:5 tells us, “A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet.” Flattery is insincere words, a compliment with an ulterior motive.
Once you identify flattery, guard your heart! The pathway of life is littered with the debris of young ladies who believed everything wonderful that people said about them.
Be Discreet with Pity: Beware of the person who begins to express pity for you especially if the words are directed in sympathy toward the supposed limitations of your Christian life. Someone who expresses pity toward you for living for the Lord is not a true friend.
Be Discreet with Romantic Words: Every young woman has a desire to be loved, and is flattered to think that she has gained the attention of a handsome young man. Such things stir powerful emotions.
These emotions, when not guarded, have caused many young women to throw away a God-blessed future in exchange for what they later found out was counterfeit love. Guard your emotions! Guard your heart! Don't put yourself in a position to one day weep these words, "But he told me he loved me!"
Be Discreet with Private Enticement: In Psalm 64:2 we read, “Hide me from the secret counsel of the wicked; from the insurrection of the workers of iniquity:” From yesterday's fairy tales to today's Hollywood movies, stories of secret love seem to hold us in fascination. However, life is not a children's story or a screen script — life is real!
“If you have to keep a relationship secret from your parents, then it is not a relationship worth having. If a young man or anyone else wants to carry on a relationship with you without your parent's knowledge, then their intentions are not honorable. Be 100% transparent with your parents about every relationship in your life. This is for your protection.
Be Discreet with Physical Touch: In 1 Corinthians 7:1-2 we read “It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.” When it comes to physical touch, strict personal boundaries need to be set in your life. Never underestimate the power of a romantic touch.
Part of being a lady is learning to guard yourself against these five emotional pitfalls. Be discreet!
NUMBER 5 – DISCIPLINE OF PURITY: The word “chaste” means "morally pure." This also would refer to modesty. That is modesty in dress, in what you watch on TV, in the magazines you read, and the people with whom you associate.
A chaste young lady is a virgin, intent on staying so until marriage. A chaste young wife is loyal to her wedding vows, giving only to her husband.
Purity before marriage and within marriage has always been a hallmark of Biblical femininity. The world has tried to corrupt and cheapen this goal. Virginity is mocked and ridiculed in our culture. But God is not mocked, for in Hebrews 13:4 we read, “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but the whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
Are there real-life consequences for sinful actions? Unfortunately, yes as there are damaged reputations, incurable sexually transmitted diseases, and inner struggles of guilt, regret, and loss of inner peace.
Can forgiveness be found? Absolutely, if we truly confess and forsake sin, God is faithful to forgive.
Older women must stress to the younger women the blessings of waiting until the right young man comes along.
A wise young lady will get advice from a wiser older lady on how to behave so as not to portray impurity before members of the opposite sex.
NUMBER 6 – DISCIPLINE OF HOUSEKEEPING: Titus 2:5 says, "keepers at home," Notice this doesn't say a “stayer at home, but a keeper at home.” The word keep means "a protector" or "a guardian." The question as to should a wife and mother work outside the home is another issue. In this text we read that a wife is the guard of the dwelling.
As a lady, you have been assigned by God to be the keeper of your home. That means you are responsible for the success, the organization, the efficiency, and the spirit of your home. This is a great and sacred trust!
Home is to be the closest thing to Heaven on this earth, and God placed women as the keepers of this blessed haven.
Let's look at the characteristics of a great home-keeper.
Schedule: Learning to live by a schedule and training your children to live and stay-on schedule is half the battle. Set priorities and schedule a time to be alone with each child.
Organization: The best home keepers learn early the importance of organization – a place for everything, and everything in its place.
Flexibility: Life doesn't always stay on schedule! There are going to be things come up that throw the best of plans off course. You have to learn to be flexible, and to play catch-up from time to time.
Joy: The ability to do all that you need to do, with joy in your heart, and a smile on your face is a gift. Rejoice!
If God has given you a husband, children, and a home, then you are much blessed. Be its protector.
NUMBER 7 – DISCIPLINE OF KINDNESS: The word “good” in verse 5 refers to "internal goodness." It means that a wife should cultivate good values so that they emanate from within her to her loved ones.
Biblical femininity sets a gold standard of genuine goodness to others.
A godly lady is constantly looking for an opportunity to say or do something good.
In III John verse 11 we read, “Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good, He that doeth good is of God…” Every day should be filled with opportunities to do good!
In James 4:17 we read, “Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.”
NUMBER 8 – DISCIPLINE OF SUBMISSION: Again in verse 5 we read, “obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” The word “obedient” carries the idea of “submission” which comes from two words-“sub” means "below the surface" and “mission” means "purpose." In other words, submission means "to organize yourself to be able to put yourself behind the scenes."
The modern culture has thrown away almost every Biblical principle for a successful home and marriage. The results have been catastrophic. However look at it this way.
A wife is the choreographer who makes the "family play" succeed.
The wife pulls the strings; she opens the curtain, and she sets the props and the lights. She's the one to whom others say, "I couldn't have done it without you."
Submission is simply this: “You have a mission or a purpose behind the scenes.”
Let me take this all important point a step farther. Love for God is best measured through obedience. The most important obedience we can give is that which we give to our closest authority. For example:
Since a child’s most direct authority is his parents, the best way for a child to show his love for God is by obeying his parents. Ephesians 6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.”
A man’s best way to prove his love for God is by obeying his employer. Colossians 3:22, “Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God.”
A wife’s best way to show her love for God is by obeying her husband. Ephesians 5:22, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Reading that, we can conclude that
Submission is not slavery nor is it suppression.
Submission is not being a doormat.
Submission is a command from God.
Submission is necessary for the rearing of good children.
As one woman put it, “Submission to our husbands is our greatest measuring stick for love, and there is no way we can get around it. We cannot be improperly related to our husbands, yet be kind to our neighbor, pastor, and others and say that we are right with God. Submission is a woman’s way of saying to God, “I told You I loved You, and I just proved it by submitting to my husband.”
Another woman said, “Submission is not obeying a man’s demands; it is a woman’s gift to her husband. To be sure this gift has some rewards in it for a wife in that it prepares her husband to be strong, and give the love that she will need.”
Now in conclusion to our message on this Mother’s Day, listen to these words written by a woman in her book "I am a woman by God's Design." This is from her chapter "Subordinate but not Inferior."
"Submission is God's design for women. Submission is an attitude of obedience. “…Before a woman can successfully submit to her husband, she must first submit to Christ. Submitting to the Lord means giving up all selfish desires and personal rights. Then, no longer are we alone in our control of our direction and decisions, but the Holy Spirit is to govern our lives. That will ultimately affect our emotions, attitudes, and responses."
Ladies, if these EIGHT DISCIPLINES are in your life notice again in verse 5, the “Word of God will not be blasphemed.” In addition, you will be teaching them by words and action to the next generation of “younger women.”
If God has spoken to your heart after reading the sermon, “Mothers Teaching the Next Generation of Daughters” then right now talk to God about what He has spoken to you.
Do you have the assurance that one day you will go to heaven? If you have no assurance that you know Jesus Christ, then I trust you will decide to accept Him as your personal Savior. The Bible tells us in
Acts 16:31, “…Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…”
Romans 10:13, “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
This prayer is here for those who need to ask Jesus to be their personal Savior: “I do want to go to Heaven. I know I am a sinner, and I do believe Jesus Christ died for me. I realize I cannot buy this great salvation, nor can I earn it. Knowing Jesus died on the cross and arose from the grave to pay my sin debt and to purchase my salvation, I do now trust Him as my Savior, and from this moment on I am completely depending on Him for my salvation.”
If you made the decision to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, please let me know. Please send an e-mail to pdmikBBM@aol.com and I will send you some literature that will help you in your Christian life.
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